.....

You always say you hate to see me hurt, and you hate to see me cry. So all those times that you hurt me, did you close your eyes?



yes...maybe i am okay?maybe......*fake smile* 
what can i reply besides telling you that i am okay?
oh yea...i am lying...to myself......

....

I'm tired of trying, sick of crying, I know I've been smiling, but inside I'm dying.

Maybe one day it will be ok again. That's all I want. I don't care what it takes. I just want to be ok again.

 am i really ok?am i...?please convince to me that i am really ok......

...

collect my tears,and it can make you drown.

once, he told me tears are precious, don't cry easily...but now, tears can't stop flowing from my eyes......

..

Boy boy: Sorry.

Girl girl: You didn't lose me, you just lost a silly girl who really care for you and love you a lot. :')

i looks at little bun bun...and it makes me cry...haha...it is so naughty...but still it is very cute...can you answer me what i have told you?

.

Dear Girl,
I think its time for you to just let go of him. He has hurt you and me too much. Just let the memories fade. It's time to leave him behind. I know it will be hard, but it's for the best, trust me. Just keep trying...
Love always,
Your Heart

Thanks God for sending angels to my side and cheer me up. :)

:)? :(?

我失恋了。

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。

失眠。

哭了睡。睡了哭。

告诉我还能如何？

抉择

快乐和幸福那么相似,可是快乐就是幸福吗?

给你一碗孟婆汤、你会选择遗忘什么?

 

值得思考一下。哈。

幸福如果没有快乐 ，就肯定不是幸福。但是快乐未必是幸福，快乐是短暂，幸福是长久。

既然选择喝下孟婆汤，那已经没有选择可选择了。那就忘掉一切吧，全新的自己，全新的生活，不是更好吗？或许吧。可是，认识你的人还认识你，只是你忘了他们，那又该如何呢？

 

感觉是不会骗人的，除非从一开始它就欺骗了你。

 

当你在黑暗深处，是否会记得，或许往前走，你就能看见那一道曙光。可是你会选择前进或是裹足不前？

 人，每一天都在选择、作决定。没有对或错，只有你懂不懂的聪明的作一项决定，取得双赢的局面。

抉择。

37天。

冷血动物

愛你是全身麻醉的手術
微弱的心電圖 因為你而起起伏伏

只要一點點人類的溫度
我就能被征服 我願賭就願意服輸

可是我心裡有數
我不是你的回憶錄
只是你的未知數

我翻了又翻你給的地圖
卻一直找不到我的歸宿
也許開始太倉促 才迷了路
為沒有結果的結果盲目

我等了又等夢見的幸福
卻永遠只是你一根肋骨
我終於恍然大悟 不再上訴
只怪自己愛上的是一個 冷血動物

就算我變成一個拳擊手
我也下不了手 總不能找自己報仇

就算我乾了這手生啤酒
我也沒有對手 我也不能對你反駁

我們像兩個宇宙
我自甘著我的墮落
你一無你的所有

我翻了又翻你給的地圖
卻一直找不到我的歸宿
也許開始太倉促 才迷了路
為沒有結果的結果盲目

我等了又等夢見的幸福
卻永遠只是你一根肋骨
我終於恍然大悟 不再上訴
只怪自己愛上的是一個 冷血動物

我哭得好累
想哭得很美
但哭得好痛

我翻了又翻你給的地圖
卻一直找不到我的歸宿
也許開始太倉促 才迷了路
為沒有結果的結果盲目

我等了又等夢見的幸福
卻永遠只是你一根肋骨
我終於恍然大悟 不再上訴
只怪自己愛上的是一個 冷血動物

那是一个怎样的承诺？

34 天。

我很想你。
你还在忙吗？
加油！:)

我好想听你的声音。

我好想见你。

能够让我抱抱你吗？

weirdo

i juz found out,in every stage of my education,i have a pair of twins as my classmates!

haha LOL!

during primary school got shun zhi and shun kai...

during secondary school got shuo leong and  shze leong...

and now in college got ka wei and ka kei...^^

saw little bun bun's siblings in a shop at timesquare last week...

and got others cute teddy bears in tat shop oso...XD

but all are very expensive......

every night,after my prayer i will hug my little bun bun and go to sleep...

cover us with blanket,and i will start looking at it and sayang its head...LOL

then start talking with it a bit,only closed my eyes...

hmmmm...i am such a weirdo-.-

now i can't sleep without do so every night-.-"

gonna bath for it already...

it is a bit yellowish le i think?

but seriously how to bath it neh?

can i throw it into a washing machine...? :O

a short update :P

a short update^^

juz wanna say:

i am very happy today!!!

super duper happy,although i am sick =~=

gt a "acidman" at d area near my sch recently~muz be careful ohhh all gals^.^

hmmmm....going to sleep soon^^

3 more days to holidays~~~~lalalalalala~~~~

am i in a dilemma?

HE did answered my prayer...
thanks God i got the ipg offer...
and i came to shock when i knew that the campus i get is in ipoh...
thanks Lord...i really appreciate it lots...
i knew You plan the best for me...


wow...ipoh...again...
so far far away...again...


yea...come to a diverged road again...
enrolled to a level in tarc...
but meanwhile i am still waiting for the ipg and also matrik...
okay...now i got the ipg...
so when the appeal for matrik result will be out?
20 june daftar for the ipg...
i still have time to consider going or not going for it...
there are pros and cons for ipg...for sure...


nice...it's friday tomorrow!
1 more week then i can back to jb!woohoooo~


yes...i am not suitable for city life...-.-"
i miss segamat...LOL


everyday hear the sound of LRT pass by during class...
so annoying...zzz
walk to canteen or cyber centre then can see the LRT pass by...-.-


going to sleep...
i am tired.
x.x

life goes on

duno wads wrong with me actually.
almost cry everyday when i come to kl.=(
dis did not happen when i was in utp...
my heart told me i dun like here...=(
homesick badly...
i juz wanna back home...
i duno why will dis happen...=(


finally i understand how cheryl feel that time in utp...
why she will cry everyday...
why she will react like that when see stg familiar...


1st week of school...
my cousin told me how far she walked to class in tarc...
she keep saying what a long distance,it's very tired...
i didn't comment much on that because i knew the distance that i walked in utp is much more than that...


......suddenly miss paprika food so much...LOL
coz the mixed rice in tarc is like @#!%^$#@...
miss the mixed rice in tronoh also...
it's so nice................
every time eat mixed rice in tarc will remind me of that...=(


i dun like my timetable...
it's so stupid...
no lunchtime...
i miss the time in utp...
an hour break i still can go bac to hostel to get a half an hour nap then oni continue go to class...
zzz...


i dun like my maths lecturer...giv me bac sir sam...:(
suddenly miss his "so tired"...LOL...
and always say will giv us break in 5 mins when teaching...
but then at last finish class ad without break oso...LOL
i dun like my phy lecturer...giv me bac pn.hasnah...:(
although i always not listening and keep yawning in her class-.-"
i dun like tarc...let me bac utp...:(
but i knew it's impossible...zzz


dad called.uncle called.aunt called.
i will just say okay when they asked how was everything in school...
but then they don't know i hold my tears when talking with them on phone...
and after i will just hide myself and cry...
should i tell them i really unhappy at here?
should i???


i feel the warmness in utp.
i feel the coldness in tarc.


i juz realize i am not missing home.
i am juz missing utp.LOL.


every night before sleep i will pray...
pray for a better tomorrow...




Lord,please be my side.






yes.life goes on.cheryl always tells me this.
yea.i should open my heart to accept everything.

6pm

now is 6pm...my class ended at 5pm but now i am still in cyber centre of tarc.
guhhhh.......i am so tired....my eyes gonna cnt open ady...LOL
class from 8am to 5pm today...and in between only got an hour break...
sigh :( tiring....................


need wait till 7+pm oni can bac home i tink?
tats mean i still have abt an hour at here...
lepak+online here...LOL
reached home i tink it's 8.30pm ad...........
hugry+tired!!!
luckily tomolo no class otherwise i reli cnt stand it anymore! :(




OH YEA 1ST TIME I LOVE WESAK DAY SO MUCH.
BECAUSE IT'S A PUBLIC HOLIDAY!!!LOLOLOLOL...

emo not emo...

4.5 out of 5 person who step in my blog before will ask me a ques:
"why you so emo de...??"
and they will just get an ans:
"ah?whr got?no ah...i am not emo ah..."




i am not emo.i am just feeling bad sometimes.


i am not emo.i am just feeling sad sometimes.


i am not emo.i am just moody sometimes.


i am not emo.i am just disappointed on something sometimes.


i am not emo.i am just hoping someone can hear to me sometimes.


i am not emo.i am just hoping someone will care for me sometimes.


i am not emo.i am just hoping someone will be my side when i am down.


i am not emo.i am just hoping someone can know what am i thinking sometimes.


i am not emo.i am just feeling stressed sometimes.


i am not emo.i am just feeling depressed sometimes. 


i am not emo.i am just let my tears flow out when i can't bear anymore.


i am not emo.i am just missing someone,somewhere and something sometimes.


i am not emo.i am just having many things inside my heart but i don't know how and where to express.


i am not emo.i am just looked a bit scary when i am not smiling.


i am not emo.but zhiyu and huey yi gave me a nickname: emo kia. 


i am not emo.i am not emo.i am not emo.
I AM NOT EMO.
...........................................
.....................................
.................................
............................
.......................
..................
............
........
....
.
okay fine.i admit.i am emo......

little bun bun

in kl now

sigh...what a tiring life :(

my timetable is so packed :(

i wanna go home /.\

i miss everyone very much:(

especially you......

now only have a little bun bun to accompany me

i cry to little bun bun

i talk to little bun bun

i hug little bun bun every night when i go to sleep

i look at little bun bun everyday and it makes me think of you

little bun bun let me think of many things

every time i look at little bun bun until i am in a daze...

yea...i think i am insane.........

little bun bun...first present that you bought to me from kl during march...it's a cute little seal...and now i just realize it mean so much to me......

you asked me to be strong before

you asked me don't cry easily

i tried to be strong
i tried not to let my tears flow out

but do you know i still need you :(

 i am still remember everything that you told me before......


就算你再忙，你也不能一连好几天不给她短信或电话，或者对她忽冷忽热，因为这样会让她很恐慌，是不是自己又做错了什么。任何时候不要让她找不到你，因为这样她会一直很不安心。

saw this from somewhere...yea...do you know i am in this state now..........i feel so.......complicated...i get panic when you treat me like this.........i don't know......what's wrong with me......i don't know is me think too much or what....i hope to hear from you that day,hoping you will ask me how was my class,at least a jiayou from you,but at last i get nothing..... i get speechless during that call...actually i have many things wanna tell you but it seem so indifferent...i don't know what i can talk to you....i cried after that call because i don't know what happen between us.......i asked my little bun bun but too bad it can't talk.....every night i waiting for your message,hoping you will tell me something...........


damn i dislike my life here
damn i feel i am alone
damn i miss you so much


but do you? 



就算她跟你无理取闹你也要原谅她，因为她那是在测试你在乎她的程度。因为她那是缺乏安全感......

女生會做的10件傻事[轉]

1.在他不回短信时，不知不觉帮他找了很多没回短信的理由，

手机没电？

没钱？

没信号？

但是永远会等,一直的按亮手机屏幕。

2.记住他无意的某一句话或一个小愿望，然后偷偷帮他实现，

不论实现的过程多坎坷，

没有想到过放弃，

只是希望看到他惊喜感动的表情

3.看到他和别的女生在一起是,第一个想法就是胡思乱想,

但是之后,又用一个"不会啦,我想多了"作为结束,即使还是有些不爽

4.就算吃醋也不敢在他面前表现过多，

因为怕他觉得你小心眼，不要你了。

所以后就默默不开心，自己哄自己

5.就算真的生气吵架了，不理对方，

你发誓一辈子不理他，然后默默变成一天不理他，最后他还是不理你，

所以你软弱了，主动短信他，：“我错了。”

6.或者生气不开心时，你的闺密朋友怎么劝你都没用，

他的一句“怎么了？”，

或者随便一个问候关心，你就傻呵呵的笑了。

7.在上课时用笔在本子上写他的名字，怕别人发现，

改用拼音缩写，反正自己能看懂是关键。

8.做那些小测试，自己做完试着帮他做一遍，

看星座时把他的“顺便”看了

9.那些你给他起的外号，在心里默认只有你可以叫。

很多事情默默为他做了，不说

10.只要那些别人说怎样许愿会灵的办法你都试试，

许的愿都是，：“我们要永远在一起。”

或許，當一個女生戀愛時，眼中最在乎的就是對方。如果她不愛你，她也不會在乎你。她不是無理取鬧，她只是害怕擔心。請做到不讓她胡思亂想。:)

人要有希望，有愿望；人可以失望，但不可以绝望

get inspired by a UTP senior's story...it's his real story...
can that count as a miracle?sort of i think :)
it's really motivate me...thank you very very much :)
you really helped me a lot :)
i will always remember what u have told me...:)




going to kl tomorrow...start of my new life...
new life?yea...my college life...
study a-level in tarc...
i hope everything will be fine...:D




i always believe what javier told me before when i leave UTP...
-God says to you:"I have a plan for you, a plan not to harm you but to prosper you."-
i always remember that and yea i believe in it...everything has its own planning...




no matter what,don't regret on what u have chosen...
believe and do your best:)




Pray and He will answer your prayer :)

[轉載] 兩篇有意思的文章:)

做男朋友的基本标准...

第一条：老婆的手机号，必须背下来。

第二条：老婆发短信，必须回。

第三条：老婆上QQ，在线必须主动说话。

第四条：答应老婆的事，对老婆的承诺，必须做到。

第五条：不准背着老婆和别的女的有暧昧关系。

第六条：不准和别的女的有亲密动作，要对老婆诚实。

第七条：不准对老婆发过大的脾气。

第八条：生老婆的气，不能超过1个小时。

第九条：想老婆了，要主动给老婆打电话、发短信。第十条：生气时，不准不理老婆，让老婆担心。

第十条：不准对老婆提无理要求。

第十一条：要主动关心老婆。

第十二条：必须要学会如何心疼老婆

。  

第十三条：老婆过生日，必须在老婆身边。

第十四条：如果实在不能陪着老婆过生日，必须打电话或发短信或者给点意外的小惊喜也行。

第十五条：手机必须24小时开着机，如果老婆找，必须随时都能让老婆找到。  

第十六条，出门必须带着老婆，不要把她自己扔在家里，

第十七条，要让老婆感到安心，不要让她为你担心，要为她照顾好自己，

第十八条，要关心老婆，嘘寒问暖都不能落下，

第十九条，要关心自己的家人，还要关心老婆的家人  

第二十条，对老婆的朋友也要热情招待，

试问，多少的男朋友做到了?

我想要這樣的男友~

1~生病时...会骂我"为什么你不好好照顾自己???为什么生病?你知道你生病我有多心痛的吗?"然后~给女朋友一个暖暖的拥抱~

2~不听话时...会说"乖啦~听话~不然不理你了!!!~"

3~做错事时...会说"我告诉过你几次?不要再做错了~知道吗?"然后抚摸着我的头

4~不理你时...会说"宝贝...为什么你不理我?没有你我好空虚~"然后拉拉我的手...撒撒娇~

5~跟你抢东西时...会说"好啦~宝贝~不跟你抢了~等下你受伤~"

6~走在路上...会拉着我的手或搭着我的肩膀

7~想我时...会打给我...发信息给我说你想我

8~把我送你的东西..好好的保存起来

9~每天说最少3次的''我爱你''

10~每天至少抱我一分钟

11~每天打电话给我...因为我想听你的声音

12~一定要有一样情侣的东西

13~手机背景一定是我们的照片

14~不能不理我~

15~要记得我是你的唯一...你只可以爱我一个~!!!!!

女生奢望的不多。只要你能做到這裡面其中的幾條，她就會很開心了。但是，你能做到嗎？:)

let the photos tell you the story :D

 this is the taekwondo little gal!!><

 isn't she cute?haha :)

 a little boy with a little teddy =x

 yeah~group photo^^

 my erhu senior,eho!

 breakfast in ipoh,ming court dim sum~

so high...LOL o.o 

security guard:u got food on ur hand,cnt go in!XDDD 

 we are 1 family:))))

yummy yummy~~~

the cake and ice-cream are nice>< 

 杯盤狼藉！LOL

 lata kinjang waterfall~!

praise and worship~ 

 water baptism of brother avalon and elden~

 abstract art!XDD

 waterfall!scene from a higher place~

she is yen pinng :) 

 brother chee lim and his cute daughter,cyndee!:))

UTP Jan 2011♥